A Loss

A change has taken place since my last post. I will document the happening from the begin to the end.
8/27/10 My brother, Thomas, supposedly fell and hit his head on a concrete porch near his home, while at a neighbor's apartment.
8/28/10 My brothers eldest son, Tommy, called us sometimes after 3am to notify us of Thomas' accident. When we arrived at the hospital, the nurse was talking to my nephew. She told him that Thomas was unable to breathe on his own and had been non-responsive since his arrival. He had bleeding on the brain, but they could not operate.
8/29/10 As family visited throughout the day, we were praying for signs of any kind from him, but there was no change.
8/30/10 The family met at the hospital to be updated on Thomas' condition, by the doctors. It was not good news. They had taken another CT Scan. It showed that the bleeding had stopped, but Thomas had had several strokes.
We were told this made things worse for they still couldn't operate. They told us to take our time on making a decision about Thomas.

Let me go back to what occurred before we came to the hospital. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, combing my hair when the thought came to me that I was going to have to make a decison whether or not to kill my brother. That was really upsetting, but then I heard an audible voice that said, "Let him go, I am waiting". I told my husband and he suggested that I call our Co-Pastor, Sonya Slaton. When I told her what had been said she told me that Satan wants to put condemnation on us, but we that are in Christ, have no condemnation. She went on to say that Satan did not have control over my brother and neither did I. God had control. She prayed with me before we hung up. I still was not ready to let Thomas go.

We decided not to make a decison that day.
8/31/10 We decided to take Thomas off life support on Sunday, September 5th, the day after our family reunion, but later on Tommy said he did not want to do it til after Labor Day, so it was changed to September 7th.
9/1, 9/2, 9/3 We are still looking and praying for signs of improvement.
9/4/10 The family reunion was really great! All of Thomas' children attended. Thomas was honored for being the eldest of the children of our father, Lou Edward, and was presented with a t-shirt that said " I Do Know It All. I Just Can't Remember It All At Once". Tommy accepted the gift for his dad and said if he were there, he would say "Okay Smarties", one of his favorite phrases. Thomas was small in stature and Tommy is extra healthy. I told him to tape the t-shirt to the front of his. He laughed and said he could wear it as a vest. We had been asked by other family members whether the reunion should be cancelled. It was decided no, that would not be what Thomas would have wanted. He was so excited about the reunion and we were glad it went on.
9/5/10 We met at the hospital with Chris Neighors, who was going to handle the funeral arrangements. Everything was discussed and put in place.
9/6/10 Visited Thomas still looking for any signs of improvement. None. He was doing a lot of coughing and they were continually suctioning out mucus.
9/7/10 The family met at the hospital. Our cousin from Colorado stayed so he could be with us. At 2:10pm, Thomas was taken off the respirator. The Chaplain had asked us prior what we wanted him to pray and told him to pray for peace.

Prior to his being removed from life support, I was sitting on the windowsill with my husband and the voice spoke to me again, "Let him go".
It was still hard for me to let go.

I stood by Thomas' bedside and continually rubbed his arm and hand. I just wanted to touch him. I did not want to leave his bedside. I guess it was after 3pm, as I was at his bedside rubbing his hand, that the voice spoke again, "Let him go". I rubbed his hand one final time and removed my hand from his and there was such a peace that came over me. I believe that the whole family found peace in that instance. We stayed until 8:30pm. When we left Thomas still had good blood pressure and heart rate, but his breathing was labored.
9/8/10 Tommy called sometimes before 7am and told me that Thomas passed at 4:45am. He had stayed all night with him. I knew he wouldn't leave.
I am so thankful to God for the peace that came over the family yesterday as we were at Thomas' bedside. How we stood and laughed about some of the antics Thomas had played and the things he had said. I believe our peace gave him peace as well.